Thursday, August 2, 2007

Guy Talk

I recently went to a dinner party for a friend’s birthday. I didn’t know many of the people at the party and the ones I did know were all women. Sounds like an interesting predicament, but sooner or later small talk with women runs a bit thin. I positioned myself at the dinner table so I could see the TV in the bar. The Giants were tied in the 6th, Bonds still had at least 2 more at-bats, and Lowry was throwing BBs. I needed to stay abreast of the situation.

The final couple joined the table and the guy in the group sat directly next to me. After the usual pleasantries were exchanged I cut right to the chase.

“You a Giants fan?”

“No, not much of a baseball fan.”

Ok, at this point in the conversation there is still hope. The fact that he identified “baseball” as not his sport of choice leaves the option of another sport being his passion. Football? Basketball? NCAA sports? Save my evening please.

“I play Tennis.”

Not being able to talk sports with another guy can make for an incredibly painful evening. Especially when there are no other guys to talk to and idle chatter is the plan for the evening. It’s one of the unwritten rules amongst guys. When there is nothing else to talk about you go to sports. Guys don’t talk about fashion and they don’t talk about feelings so what else are we supposed to talk about to each other? Give me the most obnoxious, annoying, pompus guy in the room who likes sports and I’ll be content for the evening.

But the nice guy who played a little lacrosse and likes a good Shiraz? Fuck ‘em.

“You’re in my way, Bonds is up,” I responded

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