Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Today Magglio Ordonez of the Detroit Tigers announced his retirement. My brother sent me the link and asked if I too should announce my retirement from A&M. What a terrible thought. But totally valid based on our lack of posting. What the hell happened to us? Life happened I guess. We both had kids. We both got deeper into our careers. Ultimately we’ve had less time to dedicate to just shooting the shit.

What a depressing thought.

Jericho and I still talk every day. I guess we sorta use our Facebook status updates as one off A&M’s. Again, what a depressing thought. Just wasting our witticisms on fat relatives, former neighbors and that one chick that gave us a hummer in college and now has 4 kids. Yikes.

Well, I’m announcing today that we’re NOT retiring. We’re still living the dream. The dream that one day we’ll be asked to write full time. To quit our jobs and do this for a living. The dream that Bill Simmons will ask us to join Grantland and we’ll show up to their lavish offices and be asked to join the brainstorms and when it gets to us we’ll talk about fisting or peeing on bitches and then immediately be shown the door. Yes. That’s the dream.

Hey, Jericho, let’s get on it buddy. We got a room full of pretentious writers to offend.