Monday, January 14, 2008

Football Hangover – 1/14/08

Oh it hurts. My head is ringing from the weekend of games. What is typically referred to as the ‘best’ weekend in the NFL was a menagerie of chaos. How did we get to this point?

The weekend started with the following conversation:

Magglio: (wearing a game worn Seahawks Glenn Foley Jersey, sipping a Pabst Blue Ribbon, looking amazing) “Damn dude, I’m so excited about this weekend’s games.”

Jericho: (wearing a cardigan, sipping a pink lemonade) “Me too.”

Magglio: “Six of the eight teams are ridiculous. Which means we’re going to have a great weekend of championship games next weekend and the Super Bowl is gonna be filthy.”

Jericho: “Pats/Cowboys or Colts/Pack…this is gonna be great.”

(insert turntable scratch here)

What happened? Everything was lined up this weekend to put together some of the most competitive championship games in recent memory. And then reality sunk in. Peyton Manning does what he does best (choke) and the Cowboys got caught sniffing their own shit. Some observations from the weekend:

* Green Bay looked good. The Seahawks put up a decent fight, but the Packers are stacked. Can they be the team to unseat the Patriots?

* Shhhh. Eli Manning has quietly lead his team to the final four while big brother sits at home watching. Archie must feel like Richard Williams when Serena finally surpassed Venus. Except his pride and joy is a frail little ladyboy while Richard's is the man child. That sentence made no sense but I got to refer to Eli as a ladyboy. That was fun.

* Tony Romo played a helluva game. He didn’t get shit for protection and his receivers looked like they had alligator arms out there. T.O. is right to be crying this one is going to sting for a long while.

* The Jags put up a great fight, no doubt. This is the kinda team we’ll look back at and say if the Patriots were not the Patirots the Jags coulda done some real damage. Who knows how far they would’ve gone.

* Two reasons it sucks being a QB sometimes: Patrick Crayton and Marcus Pollard. Catch the ball for fuck’s sake.

* How soon before Peyton is back in the gym, working out, watching film, throwing passes and preparing for the 2008 season? My guess is he’s already there.

* Our man crush on Green Bay WR James Jones continues to swell (weird choice of words, we know). He’s a man child out there and when he gets the ball in the open field, watch out. He’s like a young T.O. with the Niners. When Donald Driver finally retires Jones will be the number 2 guy on that team. Watch out.

* The 2004 NFL draft featured Eli Manning and Philip Rivers in its first 5 picks. Both are starting this weekend. I’m still waiting for the Akili Smith/Tim Couch matchup from the illustrious 1999 draft.

* A&M had a disastrous prediction for the Colts/Chargers game. That was our guaranteed, can’t miss game. So what did you learn from this? Never take your football advice from a couple of slap dicks writing a blog. On another note, our can’t miss fearless predictions for this week’s games will be out Friday…I can’t wait!

* Brandon Jacobs is a beast. An absolute monster. I think he should be put in a caged ring with Christian Okoye and Jorvorskie Lane for a fight to the death.

* Get this, 145 running backs make more money than Ryan Grant.

Enjoy the week of banter, speculations, guesstimations, hyposthesis, Ed Werner and Merill Hodge. Championship Sunday is only 6 days away!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Eli Manning totally disrespected the Chargers and pro football when the Chargers drafted him. I guess he thinks he's from NFL royalty, after all at that point in time his dad and brother had compiled an impressive resume of zero super bowl appearances let alone wins. Not even close. But that clearly entitles him to be treated differently then all the other thousands of players that have been drafted. I know Elway did a similar thing and while I still think it is wrong at least he was a special talent. Much more so than Eli. I think the only person in history that really would have a right to do what he did is Rachel Bilson.