Friday, January 18, 2008

Fearless Playoff Picks

The closer we get to the Super Bowl the more pseudo fans come out of the woodwork. Chances are you watched the Wild Card game with just a few friends all of whom could tell the difference between Ernest Graham and Ernest Wilford. By the Divisional Playoffs, girlfriends started to surface, use of the f-word started to dwindle a bit and inevitably somebody asked “have they shown Jessica Simpson yet?” This weekend is what is commonly referred to as the ‘real Super Bowl’. And that’s not just because of the match-ups. It’s because of the people you’re surrounded by. This is the last chance you’ll have to semi-watch the game in peace. Most likely you’ll be surrounded by children and wives but for the most part they won’t care about the game. Someone will ask everyone to quiet down at the commercials and you can tell them to “fuck off”…that’s in 2 weeks. This weekend, remember, the f-word can be used but only when entirely appropriate…there will be women and children in attendance. As for the Super Bowl? Forget it. You’ll be shushed during commercials and the f-word is non-existent. Thank God nobody I care about is playing anymore.

Enjoy this weekend of football. It will be your last.

Game: Patriots vs. Chargers
The only question here is Randy Moss. Will he do anything this week or will he go through the entire playoffs as a decoy? The challenge when defending the Pats is they are loaded…and Brady sees all. He’s like the Perez Hilton of the NFL, but not as fat, gay or annoying. My guess? Moss catches 4 passes for 36 yards and a TD early on. The game is close until the third quarter when Wes Welker takes over. Not a lot of suspense in this game. Fingers crossed the Pats lose in the Super Bowl because if I have to take one more Bill Simmons “why I want to hump the entire city of Boston” article I might puke.

Patriots – 34
Chargers – 13

Game: Packers vs. Giants
Six things to think about during this game:

1. Eli Manning is starting in an NFC Championship game.

2. Snow is really fun to play in but could potentially slow this game waaaay down. As my dad says, it’s like having another player on the field which changes everything. I agree. Damn it Dallas, you’ve got the dome…where you at?

3. Osi Umenyiora might literally shit on Brett Favre…which would make for great TV.

4. This will be the James Jones coming out party.

5. AJ McLean has just announced that he believes in Britney Spears. You can close the book on that one.

6. Eli Manning is a bitch

Packers - 27
Giants - 21

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

FYI little Vanilla aka spawn of UncleIcee is well aware of the F-word, the S-word and knows that Daddy shouldn't be using those words but will ask innocently, "why did you say shit daddy? Why did you say that word? Are the Browns playing?"