Monday, March 30, 2009

This Day in History

By Magglio and Jericho -

March 30, 1602:
In a bout of dysentery fueled-rage, William Shakespeare bites his thumb at a young nobleman. Distraught and detested, the young nobleman takes off his glove and waves it threateningly at Shakespeare. Humiliated and emasculated, Shakespeare locks himself in his room and writes the best plays of his career.

March 30, 1973:
Dane Cook was born. Through the butt. He was a butt baby.

March 30, 1982:
Elton John snorts an 8-inch long rail of cocaine and then drunkenly says the following, “27 years from now I’m going to go on a national tour with Billy Joel and screw him in his butthole every night.”

March 30, 1994:
Nic Cage last read a screenplay

March 30, 2000:
A young Jericho and Magglio sit outside their upcoming English Lit class feverishly trying to finish a joint before class starts. In the end, they decide the stress isn’t worth it and they head back home while rolling another.

March 30, 2002:
The last time Pam Anderson's vagina was a brunette

March 30, 2006:
Miles Simon, Khalid El-Amin, Trajon Langdon, Mateen Cleeves, a fifth of Wild Turkey and a loaded revolver ironically gather to watch the Final Four. Nobody says a word.

March 30, 2008:
We didn’t write a post. But the next day, on March 31st, we wrote this one

March 30, 2009, 5:05pm:
Jericho regrets suggesting this stupid idea in the first place


1 comment: