Monday, March 23, 2009

I'm back.


On a terrifyingly gripping episode of Beverly Hills 90210, Donna was once held captive in her bedroom by a burglar with a knife who was threatening to seriously harm her. Just when it seemed her gapped breasts would be assaulted by said intruder, her boyfriend David Silver walked in the house. He couldn’t see Donna or the intruder however, because they were in the bedroom behind closed doors.

“Donna” David called out. “Are you here?”

“Yes Dave, I’m in the bedroom.” She responded as the intruder held the knife to her neck.

“Is everything a’ight?” he said quite wiggerishly.

“Yes Dave, everything’s fine.”

I forgot what happens next but the point of the story is that he realizes she’s in trouble because she kept calling him Dave. She never called him Dave. Ever. He catches on and saves the day and then wrote a powerful hip-hop ballad on his keyboard to commemorate the moment.

So what does this teach us? I don’t refer to myself as Mags. Never. Only Magglio. Or Sugaloaf. So when Jericho posts fake posts supposedly from me and then signs them as "Mags"…well, you should know it’s just not me. Jericho missed me. He missed me a lot. It was his way of telling me so. He can be such a sappy little bitch sometimes.

Well, I’m back ladies and gentlemen. Back in the U.S.A. Back for good. My trip was fantastic. I was desperately deprived of sports information but on the flip side I was way oversexed. Looks like Jericho didn’t totally fuck up the blog which is great and totally surprising. I haven’t written a thing in two weeks. My fingers are softer than Seth Green’s dick on a Friday night. I’m itching to break them in again.

So, stay tuned. Cause I'm back.



III

5 comments:

Emily said...

Oh fucking hell. I'm so glad the professed love of sarongs was a hoax. I was like, "No way. He's not THAT gay... Wait... Is he?"

Phew.

Anonymous said...

ShugaaLoaf!

Good to have you back in full force Magglio!

And might I say that your latest post is boneriffic!

Anonymous said...

The reference to 90210 is sheer and utter briliance my friend! Your game is looking extra tight. Bravo!

CMW said...

My sister is going to bust nuts over this post, as did I. In the future: less bitching about the SEC (still the best conference EVER), more 90210 references. I loved that episode almost as much as the one where Emily Valentine tries to set fire to the class float—or “Donna Martin graduates!” Fuck it! They’re all classics. Welcome back, Maglio!

p.s. I totally fell for the fake post, so well played, Jericho.

tahoesanta said...

Emily Valentine tortured me as a youth. So hot, so bi-polar.