Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I work with a mega bitch. Everyone works with a mega bitch but this
bitch is the mega bitch of all bitches. This bitch is fucking
mythological. She does shit that would make Zeus say, “shit, that’s
fucked. I turned into a swan and raped a bitch once and even I
wouldn’t even do half the shit that bitch does.”
The following exchange actually happened on the phone a few days ago:
Me: do you mind if I segue into another topic while I have you?
Her: that’s fine. But just so were clear, you don’t have me, I have you.
What? What the fuck does that even mean? That’s the kind of shit that
makes you look around your office for a hidden camera. Fucking
congrats, you’re cunt of the year! Hurrah! Hooray! Where should we
send your trophy, which by the way is a beaten old vagina with a
fucking trident shooting out of it? Should we mail it, or just leave
it outside of the orphanage and the next time you come to feed you can
just pick it up?