Friday, December 7, 2007

Apples and Moustaches - by Magglio and Jericho

I just signed a going away card to one of our interns:
“Just remember, work is like prison, kick someone's ass on the first day and you'll be fine.”

Remember that Seinfeld episode when Kramer is taking karate but it turns out that he’s in a class of eight-year-olds? That’s exactly how I feel about Colt Brennan winning the Heisman.

Have you heard about the new Australian rock band where all the guys met at an obsessive-compulsive support group? Their name: OCDC

Rumors are swirling that the Giants are interested in Hideki Matsui for their outfield. When I asked a friend his opinion he thought it was a good idea but then wanted confirmation on what Matsui’s entrance music for each at-bat would be. Great question, this should always be a factor in the decision making process.

Things I realized at 1am last night:

  • If SportsCenter is on at a bar, and I haven’t seen it yet, it’s going to be very difficult to pay attention to anything else.
  • When did insulting chicks become the way to get in their pants? I was out with my wife and a couple of her friends…all gorgeous chicks. You should have seen the game these guys came with. One guy told a girl she had split ends. Another told a girl his mother had sexier ‘fuck me boots’ then the ones she was wearing. Five bucks says those guys ended their night with a squeezer and a hot pocket.
  • Despite everything you know about hygiene, peanuts at a bar are mighty tasty.
  • Drunk text messaging isn’t only stupid, it’s irresponsible.
  • A 3 dollar tip on 4 drinks purchased is acceptable if more than one of the drinks is a bottle of beer. (I need Burt Reynolds, Steve Austin and that little Mexican dude from Boogie Nights to yell ‘Man Law’ in unison now to complete the thought.)

Something we too often forget…Garrison Hearst had immaculate skin.

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