Friday, December 7, 2007

Apples and Moustaches - by Magglio and Jericho


Apple:
I just signed a going away card to one of our interns:
“Just remember, work is like prison, kick someone's ass on the first day and you'll be fine.”


Moustache:
Remember that Seinfeld episode when Kramer is taking karate but it turns out that he’s in a class of eight-year-olds? That’s exactly how I feel about Colt Brennan winning the Heisman.


Apple
Have you heard about the new Australian rock band where all the guys met at an obsessive-compulsive support group? Their name: OCDC


Moustache
Rumors are swirling that the Giants are interested in Hideki Matsui for their outfield. When I asked a friend his opinion he thought it was a good idea but then wanted confirmation on what Matsui’s entrance music for each at-bat would be. Great question, this should always be a factor in the decision making process.


Apple
Things I realized at 1am last night:

  • If SportsCenter is on at a bar, and I haven’t seen it yet, it’s going to be very difficult to pay attention to anything else.
  • When did insulting chicks become the way to get in their pants? I was out with my wife and a couple of her friends…all gorgeous chicks. You should have seen the game these guys came with. One guy told a girl she had split ends. Another told a girl his mother had sexier ‘fuck me boots’ then the ones she was wearing. Five bucks says those guys ended their night with a squeezer and a hot pocket.
  • Despite everything you know about hygiene, peanuts at a bar are mighty tasty.
  • Drunk text messaging isn’t only stupid, it’s irresponsible.
  • A 3 dollar tip on 4 drinks purchased is acceptable if more than one of the drinks is a bottle of beer. (I need Burt Reynolds, Steve Austin and that little Mexican dude from Boogie Nights to yell ‘Man Law’ in unison now to complete the thought.)


Moustache:
Something we too often forget…Garrison Hearst had immaculate skin.



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