A few post hangover items on a freezing cold Monday:

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Taking the advice of one of our readers, I rented the first season of Heroes and spent too many hours this weekend trying to get caught up. I am about seven episodes deep and I am still completely confused. Don’t get me wrong…this show is fantastic. The planning that the writers must have had to do in advance is extraordinary. I’m hoping sooner or later it all makes sense. Of course, I’m the only one not getting it. My wife understands everything and we spend half the time with the show paused so she can explain what’s going on. Maybe my TV show comprehension scores were low in elementary school. Is there a way to check my permanent file?

Side note: Watching a TV series on DVD is so satisfying. There are no commercials and you don’t have to wait a week for the story to progress. I don’t think this would work as well with 30 minute shows, like The Hills, for instance. You almost need the time off to ponder the complexity of the show’s characters, issues and social relevance. For instance: “When I grow up, I want to treat my future bride like Spencer treats Heidi” or “Who would be worse in bed, Lauren or Audrina?” or “Do you think Brody is funny and cute or more cute and funny.”

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Jericho told me I’m not allowed to write about the 49ers at all this week because we’ve already wasted too many hours of our lives on these guys. But I have to just say one more thing. Is there anything less intimidating in sports then when Alex Smith and the 49ers take the field? I literally was in hysterics this weekend every time this happened. The Niners would get the ball back, there would be a shot of Alex Smith (you can’t not call him by his full name, ever notice that?) tightening his chin strap, and I would yell “here come the Niners!” at the top of my lungs and then double over in hysterics. This was in the comfort of my own home mind you. They are the worst team in football. This is not debatable.

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Last thing to discuss…is Tony Romo cool? I just don’t see it. Sure, he’s the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys…but it ends right there. He doesn’t have Brady’s championships, Favre’s swagger or Neil Racker’s horse cock.

I guess he’s still cooler than Alex Smith. Ouch.