Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Hot Studs with Moustaches

I usually am a pretty positive person. I enjoy cotton candy, fluffy puppies and handjobs. I try to surround myself with similar types of people. Not the “Debbie downer” types. Like my mom and sister who enjoy exchanging stories of poverty, broken homes and abuse they witness in their respective professions. I leave the room when they share stories. I want to live in my fairy tale world. But for some reason, I cannot get enough of the show Intervention on A&E.

If you’ve seen this show then you know what I’m talking about. It is, sorry the pun, addicting. If you haven’t set your DVR today, microwave a bowl of popcorn and sit back and witness humanity at its most bizarre. Now, I’m not going to write a depressing post, so I’ll spare you the heartbreaking back stories. What I will do is compile a quick list of what not to do when watching this show. I am your trusty guide here, having made all of the mistakes on this list, so please take my word for it.

1) Do Not smoke a bowl while watching an episode about crack smokers or meth heads. There is a surreal parallel you don’t want to get your mind fixated on while trying to enjoy a bong rip.

2) Do Not eat during any of the episodes about anorexia or bulimia. It’s the same reason Jericho and I wouldn’t sneak a pint into the theatre to watch “Into the Wild.” There’s just something twisted and wrong about enjoying food while other’s can’t.

3) Do Not call your significant other when they show the chick stripping in order to (get this) earn more money so she can buy more food so she can puke it up. Trust me. Chicks aren’t into this show.

I'm bored of this subject...let’s move on. Here is an update on actual search terms used for finding our amazing little blog:

  • If you Google the question ‘Are moustaches acceptable for work?’ then we are the number 1 result.

  • We are on the first page of results if you Google “Is Ralph Barbiera Gay?” and also if you search “John Clayton Nascar.”

  • We are the number one result if you Google “Arnold eating my birthday cake.” We have Jericho to thank for this result, because of this crazy post.

  • I made a mistake once when writing this post and misspelled Alex Rodriguez’s last name Rodriquez. So if you Google “Alex Rodriquez Loser” then we’re the first result. Pretty sweet huh?

  • And finally, here are actually search terms which have lead readers to find us. Somehow. Someway. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
    • Hot Studs
    • Badass Moustaches
    • DirtyPussy
    • Bardol Vagisil Crisco
    • Freedom of Laughter
    • And, last but not least….Phuck-O

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