Box Office Prediction: 6/29/07

1.
Movie: Ratatouille
Prediction: $72 million

2.
Movie: Die Hard 4
Prediction: $39 million (does not include Weds and Thurs money, just the weekend)

3.
Movie: Sicko
Prediction: $18 million

4.
Movie: Evan Almighty
Prediction: $16 million

5.
Movie: 1408
Prediction: $10 million

6.
Movie: Knocked Up
Prediction: $7 million

7.
Movie: Fantastic Four 2
Prediction: $7 million

5 things we learned 5 minutes before the NBA Draft

1. Naming your child 'a player to be named later' would give him/her a lifetime of references on Sports pages, blogs, AP wires, etc....and incredible placement on Google searches.

2. The East Coast is scared shitless that the West Coast has the first 2 picks in the draft.

3. Greg Oden is 7 feet tall. Wow. Really?

4. There is a kid named Ryvon Corville available. Doesn't that sound like a song that Lil Jon would put out?

5. Joakim Noah is still a doucebag.

19 revelations and life rules that are only possible when you’re about to turn 28

1. Nothing good ever comes in a white envelope
2. Anyone who uses the word “humorous” is an asshole
3. People who don’t masturbate are hopeless in bed
4. Any woman who absent mindedly plays with her hair and checks for split ends more than 5 times during a conversation is not to be trusted
5. The secrets to a good relationship might be conversation and compromise, but the secret to true love is luck
6. The three most important and dangerous words in the English language are, “yeah, but why?”
7. If you are fifty years old, married with kids, a good job, nice house and a dog and you’re still worried that your dick is too small just fucking blow your head off b/c you’re never going to be happy
8. Men hunt and women gather. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Men like to flip through channels to find something to watch and women like to go through the guide to find a show. These are all retarded. The basic difference between men and women can be summed up like this: Men are stupid and women are crazy. Every argument, hurt feeling, moment of angry silence, stand up routine and Friends episode stems from this simple statement
9. The Bible is the world’s largest and longest game of telephone
10. Gay men have more fun than anyone (they obviously have their share of problems, but their ceiling for fun is higher than everyone else’s)
11. There is no female equivalent to how much men like and need sports, nothing comes close
12. There is no such thing as a ‘low maintenance’ woman. There are three distinct levels: medium maintenance, high maintenance and run for your life
13. Empathy is faked way more often than orgasms
14. When you’re multitasking and one of your tasks is to every now and then walk over to the table and take bong rips it becomes very hard to multitask
15. Be wary of anyone who makes up their mind before they hear all (or any for that matter) of the evidence, aka, people who always vote democrat without really getting to know any of the candidates
16. There is absolutely no such thing as “un-biased” – it’s a complete impossibility in any context
17. At the end of the day, nothing tells you more about a person then what makes them laugh
18. Masturbation is like sneezing or scratching an itch: the need to do so comes suddenly, it feels great and is over and forgotten after three seconds (for the importance of sneezing and scratching see #3)
19. Moms are moms but they’re still women, and dads are dads but they’re still men, therefore #8 still applies, tread carefully

Songs to Sweat by

Shouldn’t every Ipod come equip with a pre-installed playlist entitled ‘Run Your Fat Ass’? Or shouldn’t there be a section on iTunes where users can contribute their favorite work out songs? I seem to have a difficult time making exercise mixes. Inevitably I get bored with my selections or only really want to hear 4 of the 10 songs on the list.

Eminem is easily one of the best. Most Rage Against The Machine songs get me going. Lately I can listen to most songs from The Streets when I’m working out. But inevitably there are always a handful of songs on my workout playlist that I skip. I spend half of my workout skipping songs. I’m not what the doctor’s call “in shape.” So wasting time fiddling with these things when I’m actually working out is really becoming a problem.

Here’s what we’re going to do at Apples & Moustaches (the only true voice of sanity.) We’re going to keep a running list of good songs to workout to. No bullshit. No ‘is this song 3 minutes or 4’ running through your head. No ‘I’ll push it harder tomorrow’. These aren’t just songs that work for a week or a month at a time…these are knock down, sweat pouring, rim rattling, ears ringing, staring down the beefy dude in the corner who could squish your head like a ping pong ball songs.

It starts with these 5 today. We’ll add more as we see fit.

Best Songs to Lift to:
1. Catch Hell Blues – White Stripes
2. Lose Yourself – Eminem
3. Doe Boy Fresh – Three 6 Mafia
4. Walk it Out Remix - Unk, Andre 3000, Jim Jones
5. This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race – Fall Out Boy

VOTE FOR BONDS!

Tomorrow is the last day to vote for Barry Bonds for the all-star game. He's currently in 4th place in voting, one position away from starting the game. And he should be starting...not only is he still the most feared hitter in MLB...the game is IN San Francisco.

Do your part...Vote for Bonds!

Box Office Results: 6/22/07

• Evan Almighty: 32
Predicting 50 was pretty bold for a movie with no clear-cut demographic. I really thought the church goers would give this a bit more love like they did with Passion of the Christ a few years back. Maybe if Evan stopped every now and then and flogged himself it would’ve done better.
• 1408: 20
Undershot this a little, but not by much; plot seemed dumb but maybe Cusack and Samuel L. elevated this a bit. Either way, fuck this movie sideways.
• FF 2: 20
Wow! This movie’s audience declined by 65% percent, I knew they’d leave but didn’t know they’d flock that fast.
• 4 Oceans: 11
Got it.
• 5. Knocked Up: 10
Nailed it.
• 6. Pirates: 7
Bingo.
• 7. Surf’s Up: 7
Fuck this movie. Honestly, how bad do you hate Surf’s Up?
• 10. Might Heart: 4
Overshot this by 6 million - I figured the tabloids would drive this to a bigger number. But then again, who wants to see a movie about a pregnant lady who finds out her husband was kidnapped and beheaded? I hope the movie is really, really good and I hope the victims / characters feel a sense of relief and that the movie did their stories justice, but does anyone really want to see this?

Box Office Prediction: 6/22/07

1. Evan Almighty: $50 million
2. FF 2: $25 million
3. 1408: $16 million
4. Oceans: $11 million
5. Knocked Up: $10 million
6. Mighty Heart: $10 million
7. Pirates: $7 million