Thursday, April 17, 2008

A little pre draft chatter...


*an actual conversation over IM between Magglio and Jericho today...

Jericho: We’re going to Ruth’s Chris tonight for Treek’s b-day.

Magglio: Nice. Are you gonna get a steak?

Jericho: No I’m going to get the veggie platter. Pussy.

Magglio: Morgan just texted me that Chad Johnson got traded to the Cowboys for their 1st round pick. Asshole. He got me on that one.

Jericho: Haha. That could totally happen.

Magglio: McNair retired. Anyone really care?

Jericho: All of the sudden the Ravens have the most interesting pick at 8. Do they trade up to get Matt Ryan?

Magglio: You’re forgetting about Kyle Boller aka Jesus in Cleats.

Jericho: If McFadden falls to them, watch them trade the pick to DAL for 22 and 28 take Brian Brohm.

Magglio: I love that call but McFadden wont fall. He's too good.

Jericho: But no one needs a running back.

Magglio: All the talk about his character is just a bluff. Teams hope he’ll fall.

Jericho: Adrain peterson fell to #7. RBs fall dude.

Magglio: Frank Gore fell to the 3rd round.

Jericho: And he's fisting a chicken right now.

Magglio: You're God damn right he is. What do you think Marty Booker is doing right now?

Jericho: Dripping his vagina juice into his daily "my vagina juice" smoothie.

Magglio: Wow.

Jericho: Am I wrong?

Magglio: No, no, I think you’re right about that one.

Jericho: What about Chad Johnson to the Bronocs? For the #12?

Magglio: And then who does Cincy take?

Jericho: They keep the #9. They have the #9 and #12. Plus it’s a rich WR draft. They could take a DL and an OLB in rd 1. Then grab a WR top of rd 2. Housh is ready to be the #1. Or trade with Philly at #19 or the Bucs at #20. Seriously, every team can use #85, right?

Magglio: I guess so.

Jericho: Don't you feel like the Raiders are about to do something real, real dumb?

Magglio: Like spend 100 mil on Javon Walker and that fat fuck who plays line?

Jericho: And then draft Matt Ryan at #4 and play him and the fat fuck they took last year at same time.

Magglio: JaMarcus? You hear he reported to camp pushing 3 bills?

Jericho: Haha. Fuck the Raiders. What do you think jay cutler doing right now?

Magglio: French braiding Mike Shanahan’s inner leg hair and asking him to retell the story of Elway in Super Bowl 32. And practicing his "mean" face.

Jericho: “Coach? Does this look mean? What about this?”

Magglio: Ok, so here are our options for draft day drinking.

1) A drink per round
2) Piles*
3) A drink whenever they use the term 'upside'

Obviously we're playing piles. I don't want to be all regimented. I just want to slowly and methodically destroy you, like I do with everything else

Magglio: Regardless we take a bong hit whenever our teams (San Francisco and Seattle) draft or make a move. Agree?

Jericho: For sure.

Magglio: What are we drinking? Coors light? Miller light?

I could play piles with elephant piss and still smoke you, Diane. Laura. Sara. Stacey. Fucking bitch.

*Piles is a game Magglio and Jericho invented and perfected in college. The game is simple really. Every time you finish a beer you throw it into your pile. Then, you proceed to make fun of the other guy’s pile. Yep, those are the rules of piles.


Anonymous said...

Outstanding chatter, I think Mo had read this earlier and since I've been on the road at client meetings he felt as if we should have our own witty banter over im regarding the hapless draft. By the way, I am protesting the draft this year and the combine forever due to its over-rated status on draft day. I also suggest a new abbreviation for IM T.U.P (Tremendous Upside Potential) as in, "Hey man went to Waterbar for lunch yesterday" TUP

Anonymous said...

Miller lite and bong hits. As soon as you guys make it to Boston, let us here at TellHimFred know. Immediately.