Thursday, April 17, 2008
A little pre draft chatter...
(BLOGGER IS BEING STUPID. WE'RE HAVING A HARD TIME POSTING A PICTURE TODAY. SO PLEASE, IMAGINE A FUNNY, TIMELY, RELEVANT/IRRELEVANT PICTURE HERE. THANKS, MANAGEMENT.)
*an actual conversation over IM between Magglio and Jericho today...
Jericho: We’re going to Ruth’s Chris tonight for Treek’s b-day.
Magglio: Nice. Are you gonna get a steak?
Jericho: No I’m going to get the veggie platter. Pussy.
Magglio: Morgan just texted me that Chad Johnson got traded to the Cowboys for their 1st round pick. Asshole. He got me on that one.
Jericho: Haha. That could totally happen.
Magglio: McNair retired. Anyone really care?
Jericho: All of the sudden the Ravens have the most interesting pick at 8. Do they trade up to get Matt Ryan?
Magglio: You’re forgetting about Kyle Boller aka Jesus in Cleats.
Jericho: If McFadden falls to them, watch them trade the pick to DAL for 22 and 28 take Brian Brohm.
Magglio: I love that call but McFadden wont fall. He's too good.
Jericho: But no one needs a running back.
Magglio: All the talk about his character is just a bluff. Teams hope he’ll fall.
Jericho: Adrain peterson fell to #7. RBs fall dude.
Magglio: Frank Gore fell to the 3rd round.
Jericho: And he's fisting a chicken right now.
Magglio: You're God damn right he is. What do you think Marty Booker is doing right now?
Jericho: Dripping his vagina juice into his daily "my vagina juice" smoothie.
Jericho: Am I wrong?
Magglio: No, no, I think you’re right about that one.
Jericho: What about Chad Johnson to the Bronocs? For the #12?
Magglio: And then who does Cincy take?
Jericho: They keep the #9. They have the #9 and #12. Plus it’s a rich WR draft. They could take a DL and an OLB in rd 1. Then grab a WR top of rd 2. Housh is ready to be the #1. Or trade with Philly at #19 or the Bucs at #20. Seriously, every team can use #85, right?
Magglio: I guess so.
Jericho: Don't you feel like the Raiders are about to do something real, real dumb?
Magglio: Like spend 100 mil on Javon Walker and that fat fuck who plays line?
Jericho: And then draft Matt Ryan at #4 and play him and the fat fuck they took last year at same time.
Magglio: JaMarcus? You hear he reported to camp pushing 3 bills?
Jericho: Haha. Fuck the Raiders. What do you think jay cutler doing right now?
Magglio: French braiding Mike Shanahan’s inner leg hair and asking him to retell the story of Elway in Super Bowl 32. And practicing his "mean" face.
Jericho: “Coach? Does this look mean? What about this?”
Magglio: Ok, so here are our options for draft day drinking.
1) A drink per round
3) A drink whenever they use the term 'upside'
Jericho: Obviously we're playing piles. I don't want to be all regimented. I just want to slowly and methodically destroy you, like I do with everything else
Magglio: Regardless we take a bong hit whenever our teams (San Francisco and Seattle) draft or make a move. Agree?
Jericho: For sure.
Magglio: What are we drinking? Coors light? Miller light?
Jericho: I could play piles with elephant piss and still smoke you, Diane. Laura. Sara. Stacey. Fucking bitch.
*Piles is a game Magglio and Jericho invented and perfected in college. The game is simple really. Every time you finish a beer you throw it into your pile. Then, you proceed to make fun of the other guy’s pile. Yep, those are the rules of piles.