Monday, August 4, 2008
Tonight's original post was deleted. This is the replacement post. In a focus group of one the original post was deemed 'not up to par' with what I normally write. So I scrapped it. And now I'm left with this. A picture of Paris Hilton and a list of 10 things I hope to accomplish tomorrow.
So, here goes my impromptu manifesto.
Tomorrow, I will…
1. Ride the bus to and from work without touching any of the hand rails. But I will still lather myself in Purell when I’m done.
2. Walk to and from lunch without being asked for spare change.
3. Buy Conor Oberst’s new CD. Damn that dude is talented.
4. Research about Matt Forte to find out if he’s really worth the hype.
5. Plan my outfit for my Friday night tribute to America. It is opening ceremonies. Pay attention.
6. Pack my lunch. Then eat my lunch. Then decide it wasn’t enough and go out to lunch. I got a pant size to live up to, come on.
7. Laugh at my friends who update their Facebook status…then update my Facebook status.
8. Fantasize about Jake Locker, Patrick Willis and James Jones. Not like that…you sick fuck.
9. Claim that my favorite movies of all time include Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream, The Usual Suspects and A Bronx Tale.
10. Call Comcast to get HBO set up again. Because Wednesday starts the new season of Hard Knocks. By far the best tv show in the history of the universe.