1. Drafted 6 running backs to my fantasy team who aren’t starters on their own teams. Witness; Maurice Jones-Drew, Darren McFadden, Matt Forte, Andre Hall, Chris Perry and Brandon Jackson. What was I thinking?
2. Sat next to a knowledgable Tranny at the DMV as I waited for over 2 hours just to change the address on my car. This man bitch knew so much about San Francisco including “where to get free energy drinks” (union square every Wednesday around 1pm), “how to stop neighborhood cats from scratching on your tires (pour salt around the edges)” and, not surprisingly, where to find the best/sketchiest Vietnamese food. (Tu Lan on 6th and Market)…but you probably knew that already.
3. Got my picture taken with the Blue Jays’ mascot, got laughed at by a group of 8 year olds, then asked to leave after I told one of them they were gay.
4. Completely missed Michael Phelp’s record breaking 8th gold medal and Usain Bolt’s record shattering 100m dash.
5. Ate the best (and most expensive) meal of my life at The French Laundry. Seven courses, with wine pairings and a 20-year Tawny Port to finish. God Bless America.
6. Put money on the Chicago Bears to win less than 8 games (-160) and the Pittsburgh Steelers to win more than 9.5 games (+120).
7. Lost my phone. Again. (well, technically the last 2 times I broke it. This time it’s just gone. Completely.)
8. Watched AJ Burnett strike out 13 and Mark Scutaro (Scrooootaro!) double in the winning run as the Blue Jays beat the Yankees in Toronto. That’s right, I said Toronto. I’m surrounded by overly positive Canadians. It’s pretty sweet.
9. Party in Vegas till 7am. Wake up an hour later and got it started all over again. Sometimes I surprise even myself.
10. Read over 8 magazines over a span of 3 flights (Sports illustrated, ESPN, GQ, Vanity Fair, US Weekly, En Route (the official magazine of Air Canada), Men’s Health and Men’s Vogue.) I also watched countless hours of Ali G, stand up with Dave Attell and sadly Definitely, Maybe with Ryan Reynolds and that chubby kid from Little Miss Sunshine.