Things that sound like fun to do when you’re home sick from work, but actually kinda suck…
*Watch morning shows on TV?…um, has anyone seen those lately? Regis and Kelly can blow me. The View? Yeah, if I’m menstruating. Price is Right? I’m not sure if this show still exists.
*Jerk off?…no energy. Too tired.
*Nap?…too many meds in the system won’t allow actual sleep
*Read?…not possible, head is too fuzzy which means words are too fuzzy which means my head gets fuzzy again
*Talk on the phone?…to whom? Everyone is working. At least my wife doesn’t have caller ID at her desk so I can keep bugging her.
*Check Email?…why would I do that when I’m away from work? That’s just crazy talk.
*Play with Patch?...That’s fun for like 10 minutes, but then he gets pissed I’m not just letting him sleep all day. I don’t blame him. Little bastard.
*Watch a movie…too much commitment. I tried to watch Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds but gave up about 3 minutes in. But damn it he’s handsome.
*Listen to the new Raconteurs album?...I felt too shitty to even do that. And if you know how much I love Jack White then you know how crappy I felt.