Thursday, March 13, 2008
a game we like to play, by Magglio and Jericho
Jenna Bush is getting married on May 10th
I sent this link to my father-in-law and said "…reminds me a bit of me and you. Except you're not a fascist asshole and your daughter is way cooler."
Greg Oden practicing with the Blazers
This is going to get interesting. The Blazers are playing out of their heads right now without the 7-foot Neanderthal. What’s it going to be like when he returns? I’m thinking something like when Emily Valentine returned to 90210. Not her initial stay there, but when she came back and went psycho. Don’t be surprised if Oden comes back with a totally dikey bleach blonde haircut and tries to light Brandon Roy’s house on fire. This is gonna be totally sweet.
Billy Crystal Playing for the Yankees:
Living the dream. Like when Garth Brooks got to play with the Padres in spring camp a few years back. This is what I want to do when I grow up and am worth millions. That or buy a whole bunch of lottery ticket scratchers and triple my money. Easy money, I tell ya, easy money.
Being famous in America:
God bless America. There are essentially 3 ways to get famous in this here country of ours. 1) Sleep with a high profiled politician then parlay the media exposure into a Playboy spread, a spin on the late night talk show circuit and then ultimately wind up face-to-face with Dr. Phil. 2) Live in LA, dress fabulously, have an attitude/opinion about everything, start a blog (sweet!) do a ton of blow, get photographed with other people just like you, go to rehab, announce yourself cured, do an exclusive interview with US Weekly, adopt a dog, adopt a child, join the Kabbalah/Scientology/Green movement, sleep with Paris Hilton, overdose and repeat. 3) Go on American Idol.
People who leave anonymous comments on our blog:
You can run and you can hide but there's only 7 people reading so we'll find you eventually.
Easter is coming up
For lent this year I gave up giving up stuff. It's been a pretty wild month but oddly exactly like every other month. Hmmm...
Renee Zelwegger is the most overrated actress on the planet. I can't believe that she won an Oscar for Cold Mountain one of the defining, “what the fuck were they thinking” moments along with Eddie Murphy deciding to sing or Meat Loaf trying to act. And, other than John Stamos' alien belly button, Renee's “I just sucked on a lemon” pucker is my least favorite celebrity characteristic.
On another note, I'm not expecting much from this movie for one simple reason; it’s a throwback to the screwball comedies of the 40’s and 50’s. Now, I love old movies as much as the next guy, but if there’s one thing I’d say about that period of film it's that the thrillers still hold up but the comedies definitely don't. They’re just not funny anymore. I get why Clooney wanted to make this, “I really am Cary Grant! Look!” But I bet this movie falls flat, very flat.
Let me tell you something, this is an underserved market. Every single option you have for a veggie burger whether it’s in a nicer restaurant, a burger joint or a supermarket..is frozen. You may not eat veggie burgers but think of how insulting this is. Could you imagine if your only options for real hamburgers were frozen patties? Where are the fresh made veggie burger patties? I’m speaking some sense here. I’m this close to quitting my job and dedicating my life to making fresh veggie burgers, mass marketing them and spreading the good word of meatless burgers to the world. I’m telling you friends, this is lightening in a bottle.
The new Governor of NY is blind
I don't have a problem with this except for the fact that it completely negates the chance of another "amazingly hot" hooker scandals. Unless of course the Emperor's Club figures out how to put Braille on their site.
Jennifer Aniston was filming scenes in Seattle’s Pike Place Market yesterday
I wonder if they filmed a forced, incredibly awkward segment where she tries to catch a fish or do they just do that for the halftime shows of sports events?
The Houston Rockets have won 20 games in a row:
Zero. As in the number of playoff series that Tracy McGrady has won. That's the only number that matters right now. Not how tall Yao is, not how much Shane Battier spends getting his vagina hair waxed into a cool looking mustache like Billy Dee Williams in Empire Strikes Back, not the overall record of Rick Adelman. 0. Zero fucking playoff series. They're hot, but I don't see anything that makes me believe Tracy's streak will end.