Apples & Moustaches: home sick

Showing posts with label home sick. Show all posts

Showing posts with label home sick. Show all posts

Friday, March 28, 2008

Home, Sick

Things that sound like fun to do when you’re home sick from work, but actually kinda suck…

*Watch morning shows on TV?…um, has anyone seen those lately? Regis and Kelly can blow me. The View? Yeah, if I’m menstruating. Price is Right? I’m not sure if this show still exists.

*Jerk off?…no energy. Too tired.

*Nap?…too many meds in the system won’t allow actual sleep

*Read?…not possible, head is too fuzzy which means words are too fuzzy which means my head gets fuzzy again

*Talk on the phone?…to whom? Everyone is working. At least my wife doesn’t have caller ID at her desk so I can keep bugging her.

*Check Email?…why would I do that when I’m away from work? That’s just crazy talk.

*Play with Patch?...That’s fun for like 10 minutes, but then he gets pissed I’m not just letting him sleep all day. I don’t blame him. Little bastard.

*Watch a movie…too much commitment. I tried to watch Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds but gave up about 3 minutes in. But damn it he’s handsome.

*Listen to the new Raconteurs album?...I felt too shitty to even do that. And if you know how much I love Jack White then you know how crappy I felt.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hold please

Apples & Moustaches will return as soon as I shake this head cold and Jericho pulls his head out of his ass. In the meantime...thoughts from my snot rag...

Come on in the water's great:

1. The Hills return to MTV...

2. Brian Bocock and Eugenio Valez

3. Jack White

4. Stanford Basketball

5. Betting on The Bachelor...I'm taking Shayne this season.

Get the F! outta here:

1. Allergies, Head Colds, Sarah Michelle Geller

2. Chris Webber

3. Continuous chatter about the NFL draft...let's just do it already

4. Texas Basketball

5. Taxes...uh those are due soon right?

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We are Apples and Moustaches

1. Magglio is the handsome one. Jericho is the angry one.
2. We’re dead on with our Box Office predictions. But we only do those during the summer when there are good movies out. I mean, who gives two shits about ‘27 dresses’. We’re also deadly accurate with our Oscar guesses. A word to the wise; never get into a betting situation with Jericho around Oscar time. Trust me on this.
3. We are West Coast centric. When it’s all said and done we want West Coast sports team to horse fuck East Coast sports teams. It’s just the way it goes. Even if that means rooting for a sissy team like Washington State or the Lakers, we’ll do it. That’s just the kind of guys we are.
4. We post once a day. Sometimes twice a day. And if we’re both too hungover then we’ll just put up pictures of hot chicks to fill the space.
5. Magglio once tried to eat a large Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Pizza from Pizza Hut in one hour. He came up half a piece short. He has no question in his mind if he tried it again he could finish the whole pizza, no problem.
6. Our whole goal is to make each other laugh. That’s it. If you don’t like what you’re reading then fuck off. If you love what you’re reading then spread our link all over the blogosphere so we can quit our stupid day jobs.
7. Magglio loves The Hills, Matt Cain/Tim Lincecum and Soy Lattes. Jericho hates baseball and people who use the word "humorous", loves football, movies and has only 5 friends, admittedly by choice.
8. In their lifetime, Magglio and Jericho have gotten in two sanctioned* fist fights with each other. Each won one of the contests with the loser puking in the back yard.
9. We both support Barrack Obama. However, if John Clayton would have been on the ballot undoubtedly that’s where our vote would have gone.
10. We both consider the NFL Draft Day, our fantasy draft day and the Super Bowl as the greatest days of the year. Without question. Better than our birthdays. And better than Christmas.
*We only had 1 set of gloves but luckily Magglio is a righty and Jericho is a lefty. We also were both wasted when the fights took place. Magglio did knock his ass out though. Bitch.