Monday, January 26, 2009
Apples and Moustaches: you're welcome
by Magglio and Jericho
Can I get a 'motherfucker say what?' Read this: " The Steelers are a solid football team. A really solid football team. I think their record suffers this year from having the toughest schedule in the league. Tonight they proved that they are in fact a true force to be reckoned with. My prediction for the Super Bowl? Pittsburgh vs. Arizona. No chance the Titans make it. As my homosexual blog mate Jericho correctly stated, one of these days Kerry Collins is going to be asked to make a play to win a game. Nuff said."
I wrote that on November 3rd. Don't believe me? Click here. That's why you read this blog bitches.
Bright Eyes sang "Well I don't know when but a day's gonna come. When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun." Well, that day has come. Check it out. Damn that bitch got big and in a hurry too.
When you ask someone, "hey, did you get a haircut?" and they respond with "no, i got them all cut" shouldn't you be legally allowed to chop their fucking head off?
I can't decide what to wear on Sunday. I'm either wearing my Larry Fitzgerald jersey (I kept it), a performance wear Cardinals polo shirt (you can see my nipples when I'm excited) or a "do-it-yourself Brenda Warner kit" complete with flattop and a well placed Crucifix.
Saturday night I witnessed a man Saber no less than 25 bottles of Champagne. And yes, I was hungover on Sunday.
If you asked me which best picture nominee will be remade as a gay porn first and what the title will be, I'd have to go with Benjamin Butthole, but wouldn't be surprised if someone just spliced hardcore sex scenes into Milk and called it even.
You know who's going to score on Sunday? Heath Miller. That is something I feel strongly about.
The three most underrated stories of the Super Bowl: 1) are we sure we're ready to live in a world where either Big Ben or Kurt Warner has two rings? 2) Mike Tomlin is very cool, but who was the last cool coach to win a Super Bowl? Belichick dresses like he cleans pools, Dungy is a fucking dweeb, Shanahan looks like a substitute history teacher with an Abe Lincoln hat collection – are we sure cool isn't a curse? 3) Whisenhunt knows Big Ben and the Steelers defensive schemes as well as anyone on earth, why isn't this being talked about more?
Not to get all political or anything, but how nice is it to have finally have a president who is guided by what he thinks and not what he believes? It's like the entire country just got a new girlfriend who knows that a little teeth is ok as long as you don't scrape or bite.