Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wednesday A&Ms


Apple
For fuck’s sake. I have a whole new appreciation for all of you parents out there reading this blog. Not the grown-up parents with grown-up kids, but the young parents with young kids. Last night we had the pleasure of watching MoHud’s two kids, ages 4 and 2. For fuck’s sake. I don’t know how you people do it. And take into consideration his kids are very well behaved. But man, the amount of attention they need, the constant watching, the ‘uh oh is she gonna take a header right on the edge of that table in a second’ was mind numbing. I’m a walking zombie today. I got two hours of sleep, tops. Any noise and BOOM I was wide awake. Of course we brought Patch thinking ‘he’s small, furry and very amicable. I’m sure he’ll be a great distraction to the kids.’ Little did we know that Patch is kinda a little bitch around kids. He kept looking at us like ‘who are these small people and why must they insist on being so loud?’ Then he’d steal one of their toys and take off with it while they chased him down the hallway. What a little prima donna.



Moustache
KK had a great idea last week. (And yes, that’s the first time I’ve ever written that sentence.) Thanks in part to our delicious photo of Whitney Port adjusting on the beach, we now would like to implement ‘Nip Slip Wednesdays’. So, ladies and gentlemen, Marisa Miller.



Apple
My hands are freezing. I know that a) you don’t care and b) I made this same comment about 3 weeks ago but I just wanted to reiterate the fact. Plus my nose is cold. I need some fingerless gloves, a ‘nana’ sweater and a cup of green tea with a dollop of honey. Man, I’m turning into a woman.



Moustache
My favorite new AA, non-affiliated, minor league baseball team: The Pensacola Pelicans



Apple
We’re hiring! That’s right. In todays down spiraling economy when most companies are reducing the size of their staff, Apples & Moustaches is hiring. We’re looking for a VP of Business Development. Somebody to help guide us into the future by taking this little slice of sunshine we’ve created and bringing it to the masses. While we love all of you tens and tens of readers, it’s time to think globally. Like in those IBM commercials where there’s a box in a warehouse then the box gets bigger and bigger. We need someone to grow our box. Or at least tend to our box and help it smell better. Please send applications to applesandmoustaches@gmail.com.



Moustache
The Scronton vegetarian watch continues. Our original guess was he would last 3 weeks. It’s been almost 5 years now. Scronton, my brother, just sent me an email today asking if I remember how good the burgers were at a local fast food joint. He asked if that constituted a meat craving. I quickly told him, just because you’re thinking about dick doesn’t mean you’re sucking it.





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3 comments:

Uncle Icee said...

Now you know why Hudson and I are such loyal followers of A&M. We live through you. Once the kids are in bed, the parents lives begin, but most often you're so spent you just watch whatever's on TV and fall asleep within 10 minutes of hitting the couch.

tahoesanta said...

I fucking love cheeseburgers.

Mandi said...

Bob's at the Marina?

PS- If you're looking to hire a copywriter, I'm graduating in five months and will be jobless and poor. Just a thought.