I’m sitting at the airport in
I was thinking I should compile thoughts about my 5 days in
A look at the food options in the Atlanta Airport Terminal A. I wandered around this shit hole of an eatery for 15 minutes. Back and forth unable to find anything of any resemblance to food. Let’s observe:
I’m serious. They named it AeroChina Wok. The ‘Aero’ part of it I’m figuring is because we’re in an airport. See what they did there? Clever huh? This place is essentially like any Panda Express but
Don’t be fooled by the name on the sign. Or the fact that you can sit at a table with a toothless waitress serving you. The menu has pictures on it and when you review what they’re serving, you realize there’s no actual kitchen back there. There’s no real ‘making’ going on. Hot Dogs, Ham Sandwich, Nachos, Chili, Popcorn (what the fuck?!) and Beef Barley soup. Yes, there is a burger. But from where I’m sitting all I can see is a few microwaves and a hand written sign in the kitchen that reads “plese wash hands”. Wow.
Finally. A wrap. Like Mexican food. I like Mexican food. I could get something basic, with chicken and some cheese. Nothing fancy. Easy right? Nope. Wrap-it-up had the most fucked up ideas for what to put in a wrap. Fried fish. Breaded chicken in a marinara sauce. Cole slaw. I shit you not. They were wrapping cole slaw in a fucking tortilla. Where are we?
Dunken Donughts doesn’t serve food. Just donughts. And I don’t eat donughts. See? I don’t even know how to spell the word donughts correctly. Trust me, I got plenty other ways to eat unhealthy without wasting my time on donughts.
I’ve been to enough Chili’s To-Go restaurants in airports to get the concept here. It’s all quick, fried, trashy food. Sure, it’s got the same anonymous framed black & white photos on the wall of some asshole holding a fishing pole in front of his 1950-something Chevy truck. And the tables are always sticky. But that’s it. Any resemblance to the actual Chili’s you and I know and love should be left behind. I saw the sign and quickly moved on.
See how this goes? It just gets worse and worse doesn’t it? I’ll tell you this, I picked up 3 magazines at the news stand for the flight. GQ London Edition, Vanity Fair and Men’s Vogue. Let me give you this disclaimer first. Yes, I like fashion. And yes, I am a magazine junky. But I had already read this month’s Time, Newsweek,
Hot Dog Express:
Hot Dogs are surprisingly big in
Salads and Sushi:
Sushi at an airport? That’s about as smart as taking a deuce at JFK. Everyone knows that rule. You don’t crap at JFK. It just doesn’t happen. You can hold it. Or sneak into one of those executive lounges or something. But never, under any circumstance, should you take a shit at
Enough about the food. I could probably do well with skipping a few meals after this trip. All I know is this. I’m a little more than 6 hours away from seeing my wife and my dog and I couldn’t be more excited.
P.S. I got Giants tickets for Saturday. Lincecum vs. Webb. Sucka bitches.