Imagine Lee suddenly switching sides and fighting for the North. Imagine Barbara Streisand becoming a traditional Christian minister. Imagine R Kelly dating someone who could grow pubic hair. Imagine Rosie O’Donnell being funny and likable. Imagine Lance Bass having a nickname like “the clit commander.” Imagine Lauryn Hill dating a white guy named Whitey Whiteman.
All of these scenarios are mind bottling and would be completely relevant if anyone gave half a fuck about NASCAR. Have you ever watched a NASCAR event? It’s like watching slugs fuck. No thanks.