Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts

Friday, October 12, 2007

Two Apples and a Moustache for a Friday afternoon





Apple:
This Tuesday and Wednesday was possibly the worst days of the sports year. Now, I can’t remember as far back as April and May, but I'm sure this past Tuesday and Wednesday was as bad as it gets. No sports. Nothing. No baseball, no football (college or pro). Not even an Arena League or CFL game. It was a tough couple of days. Conversations around the water cooler were awkward. Jericho and I had to talk about our feelings with each other. And worst of all it gave us pause to realize we’re already 6 weeks into the football season. It’s almost November which means it’s almost January which means football is almost over. Damn it. Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes?

Moustache:
Note to self; don’t try to pick up a TV show in its second season if the entire premise is about character building, secret powers and a wayward Asian-man. I’ve started to watch Heroes this season and I am completely confused. Without a doubt I needed to watch the first season to learn the back story, to figure out who these people are and who they’re all hiding from. Why aren’t they kicking more ass instead of just being paranoid all the time?

Second note to self for this TV season; Only add one show a season. I already watch The Office and 30 Rock, so one more show is about all I can handle. This season, I’m attempting to add Heroes, Bionic Woman and Dirty, Sexy, Money. Yes, I know. You don’t have to say it…but have you seen that chick put the smack down with her bionic arm? (Side note: I can’t get over the fact that Dr. Burke is on this show. Every time he comes on the screen I yell out lines like “Do you think she needs Dr. Burke to do an emergency triple bypass?” or “What does Dr. Burke know about hand-to-hand combat?” or “Does she know Dr. Burke hates gay people?”)

My secret TV obsession this season? America’s most smartest model.

Apple:
I saw Natalie Portman earlier this week. I was just walking down the street on my way to work and I walked right by her. She had on a hooded sweatshirt and was engaged in a conversation with some dude. She was exactly as cute as you’d expect her to be.

Every guy had the same question when I told them I ran into her “was she hot?” Every girl had the same question “was she tiny?” I answered both in the same way. “Yes” and “No, she was about 5’6”, normal size.” Only later did my wife inform me that the question girls were actually asking was “did she look super skinny?” I don’t know. Don’t ask me questions like that.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Note to dudes everywhere...


DONT TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE REMINDS YOU OF KIRBY PUCKETT.

Sure, it seems simple enough. Don't compare your chick to a short, round faced, pudgy, scooting centerfielder. Right? But let's examine the facts for a second.

Kirby Puckett was the premier centerfielder of the late 80's and early 90's. He was the undeniable leader of the Twins on and off the field, in 1986 he hit 31 homers along with 96 RBI's and a .328 batting average, and he single handedly won the World Series for the Minnesota Twins? Now ask yourself...does that sound like a compliment to be called Kirby Puckett?

To be compared to Kirby Puckett means to be called a leader. A visionary. An athlete. An inspiration. Now being compared to Adam Keefe, that's a whole other thing.