Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Thoughts on Week 1

Thoughts on Week 1 - by Magglio and Jericho

-Watching the Seahawks destroy the Niners was like watching your chick put on a sexy nighty while she's on her period. For a split second, all rationality goes out the window and you think, "oh, I'm gonna tear that ass up." Never happens. Hasn't happened once in the history of the earth or the penis (not sure which was first). So, root for the Hawks at your own risk. Just remember, there's a bloody puss down there.

-The Jets and the Ravens game was fantastic from start to finish. I loved every single story line that became a bit clearer as the night went on; Ray Lewis is still the best defensive player in the league, Rex Ryan my be the coolest son-of-a-bitch on the planet, the Ravens have 3 veteran WRs who are impossible to defend even if you have corners like the Jets, Gruden is the smartest announcer in the game and Jaws is becoming increasingly paranoid, and Mark Sanchez can’t throw the ball more than 10 yards. The only thing missing was a sexy Mexican sideline reporter. Oh wait.

-Fuck Tim Hightower, Phillip Rivers, Shonn Greene, Kevin Kolb, Bernard Berrian, Arian Foster, and the entire 49ers organization.

-Watching Vick elude the Packers defense was reminiscent of his days at Va Tech. He’s still got moves. It’s amazing to think he’s the same year as Ladanian Tomlinson. Two years in the clink kept his legs fresh. The question is what is the best TD dance Vick could do after he runs one in? So far the best I’ve come up with is this: After he scores, two of his lineman come over and get on all 4s while facing each other. Then, two of the other lineman hold on to the ‘collars’ of the down lineman as they lunge at each other barking ferociously. Vick then stands in the middle with his arms spread wide and looks to the heavens as a gesture to all the dogs he put down. Too much?

-I don’t think the Bears are very good, but there is a good chance they can beat Dallas this weekend and roll into week 3’s MNF game in Green Bay at 2-0. Their offense, despite Mike ‘am I still relevant?’ Martz, is still super sketchy. The Bears D should keep them in games but they still have some big time problems. Why do I think they can beat the Cowboys on Sunday? Because the Cowboys are like Heidi and Spencer. Too interested in their own fame to figure out that they have absolutely no talent. Ooooh. Facial!

-The Colts are not as bad as they appear after Week 1.

-The Chiefs are not as good as they appear after Week 1.

-Brett Favre is done. He’s too old and too brittle to make this work one more time. My money is on Tavaris Jackson becoming the starter, because of injury, by week 6. And I promise that is the last time I will mention Brett Favre ever again.

- Um, best pic ever?



Emily said...

No mention of the Steelers? Okay, I know you hate them. Or maybe you don't know what to make of them yet. I understand. But, dude. Our defensive showing last week was worthy of comment (lights out, thank god), and our backup QB was worthy of mockery. He has horsey teeth and he threw the ball like a confused pansy! That's not to mention that as one of the uh... like three commenters on this site? You owe it to me. No one denies this.

Sandy Mangina said...

Emily is right again man, the commentators on the site seem lesser than they used to be. That's what happens when you stop posting for a while, people like new shit, new posts that they can spot all the time. Eventually the loyal viewers forget, the net is all about right now, they will forget you today if you weren't there yesterday, period.

You guys have one thing all my sites have never accomplished, legit traffic and credit based on content that's unique and clever. We will monetize this shit man, my system is being developed right now by me and partner. Your talents are a prize, much different than those on my team.

When I finish developing this ish, our people will do lunch mang. You guys are talented and are popular in google even though you two don't know what an html tag from a sata cable, psu or gpu. That's not an insult, its a complement that when quality writing hits, its a hit regardless of fabricated positioning based on technical know how.

I'm coming down to the bay son!

Bryan said...

-The Chiefs are not as good as they appear after Week 1.

Fuck you in the face.

Good luck on Saturday - Go Big Red!