Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Week 2 Observations

By Magglio and Jericho

  • For the Jets, it’s all about confidence. They were down early to the Pats but were able to make a few good stops on defense, followed by a few good plays on offense, which ultimately restored their confidence. Sanchez is a fragile little girl. But Sunday he felt pretty so he had a good day. Mark my words, the Jets will lose at New England in Week 13. Someone will tell Sanchez he looks fat in his football pants and he’ll cry like he lost the school vote for prom queen. Pats take the 2nd meeting for sure.

  • Yesterday across the bottom line there was a line item that the Jags picked up Todd Bouman at QB. Seriously? If you’re a Jacksonville fan….actually, if you’re a Jacksonville fan never read our blog again. But a word of advice, it’s time to pick up a new hobby…like getting fist fucked. Give it a whirl. I can’t imagine you’d feel any worse than you do right about now.

  • Wade Phillips should be fired right now. Seriously. No need to wait until after they get embarrassed in Houston. Just fire the lifeless bastard right now. Anyone know his phone number? I’m happy to make the call personally.

  • The Seahawks, as we pointed out last week, are absolute dog shit. I have no confidence in their abilities, in their coaching staff or in their masculinity. They’re horrible. And besides Lofa Tatupu I’m not sure there’s anything cool about the team. If you’re a Seahawks fan you might want to just run a hose from the exhaust pipe into the car and get it over quickly. This is going to be a long and shitty season.

  • Here's a new rule: if you’re a cute chick, and you add a photo album to Facebook that's called "summer lovin!" or something to that effect, and it doesn't have one bikini shot, then you have to add a picture of your boobs

  • The Chiefs are not as good as their 2-0 record and the Niners are about to expose them as frauds. This should be fun.

  • Fantasy Fuck Yous: Maurice Jones-Drew, Joe Flacco, Michael Turner, Ryan Matthews, Bernard Berrian, Shonn Greene (again) and everyone on the Bengals.

  • The Steelers are Super Bowl bound. (there, you happy now Emily?) This is the truth. They’re playing lock down defense and beating fuckers with Charlie Batch. Read that sentence again. Then pretend its 1997, Bone Thugs is dropping ‘Tha Crossroads’ and you and your friends are certain Miles Simon is in fact the next Michael Jordan. Imagine what happens when Big Ben comes home. And you thought that chick in the bathroom got a rude awakening.

  • Big Easy’s Betting Tip of the Week (if betting were legal, of course): Bengals -3.5 at Carolina. The Panthers are rolling out Jimmy Clausen for the first time. ‘Nuff said.

  • No seriously, Jags fans, stop reading our blog.



Emily said...

I'm pretty much shitting rainbows over here, Magglio. You and Peter King are on the same page with that Steelers prediction, BTW.

I shamefully admit that I don't quite understand that Miles Simon reference, but I was honestly really fucking high for the entirety of 1997. Bone Thugs were part of that, to be sure.

Bryan said...

Could you please make a post this week and mention how the Colts will score 150 points against the Chiefs? I feel like you're good luck. Thanks in advance.

Emily said...

Dammit, men! You better have an epic post in the works for Weeks 3 through 5. Hell, just wait until Tuesday and include Week 6!! By the power of Greyskull, I command you.

sandy mangina said...

I'm wearing a Tatupu jersey right now as the game is about to start. Ya the hawks aren't the best team in football, and we likely won't beat the saints, but we are in the playoffs. The 49ers are gay!