Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A&M - Superstition Edition

By Magglio and Jericho

I slept in my Matt Cain t-shirt jersey last night. I can’t tell if that’s really creepy or really awesome. I’m a grown man, sleeping in the fake jersey of a 24-year old in hopes it will bring us luck today. The Giants need a win so badly today. We’ve lost 4 in a row since our pitcher Joe Martinez got hit in the head with a line drive. He’s still in the hospital. And baseball is all about superstitions right? At least I didn’t wear my Eugenio Velez garter belt to work today. Now that would be awkward.

Random fact: the schedule for Monday Night Football next year features only one game in which both teams went to the playoffs last year: week 2, Colts v Dolphins. How the fuck did that happen? Isn't MNF supposed to be the best game of the week? Member when Lance Bass wanted to be an astronaut, even though astronauts are typically the best Americans we've got. Kind of similar right? I guess we should've known better when halfway through this press conference Roger Goodell grunted and Lance Bass sheepishly emerged from under his desk.

My fixation on the Niners drafting Mark Sanchez is now officially in full-steam obsessed mode. It’s kinda like when all I wanted to do was date this big blonde freshman Pi Phi in college. She didn’t give me the time of day and then wound up gaining a good 25lbs over an impressive 3-month first quarter span. What’s the gambling equivalent? I figure it’s like putting money on CT to win this year’s RW/RR Challenge and then settling in for the first episode only to see his big dumb face get booted after punching Adam in the jaw. I shoulda seen it coming. She had the frame to support at least 25 more. What was I thinking?

As Magglio makes a point of reminding you every three weeks, we are extremely West Coast centric and biased. Fuck the East Coast. However, West Coast football teams need to shut up about the amount of travel and the 10am start times. It’d be one thing, if like the rest of us, they were crammed into a Southwest flight nodding aimlessly as Ashley, a 900 pound third grade teacher from Lubbock, Texas, blabbers endlessly about how fun her dad’s birthday was. But they have private planes and stay at the nicest hotels in the country. Give me a fucking break already. Now, will I use this excuse when the Hawks get buttholed by Peyton in Week 4? Absolutely. But until then let me say this: Ashley, I’m not holding my breath b/c I have the hiccups, I’m actually trying to kill myself you gelatinous cum bucket!

I’m not a big metal fan. But I just got the new Mastodon album and I can’t stop listening to it. It’s big and thunderous like Metallica’s black album but better because you don’t picture James Hetfield’s stupid face on every song. Man that guy is such a dooshbag isn’t he? Metallica might just be the weakest tuff guy band in the history of the universe.



Anonymous said...

That might be the hottest chick you've ever posted

Anonymous said...

I love the blog, guys. I check it everyday on my lunch break and giggle into my sandwich. Not to be a stuck in the mud here, but any chance you could link to the pics rather than post them? My cube is in a shit position and have gotten caught a few times by passerbys. I like my job, I'd like to keep my job - any chance we can have it both ways?

sandy mangina said...

Dude if you don't want to view images do this;

1. install firefox
2. install firefox web developer plugin
3. enable firefox web developer plugin
4. click the images tab and click disable images

If you can't complete those 4 steps than you are stuck looking at amazing tits at work man =)

Sa said...

Or Magglio -- you could just post adorable pictures of Patch with every post! Yes!

tahoesanta said...


Your job sucks. Everyone's job sucks. Just look at the pictures, get fired, and move on.

Or do what Sandy Box says.

sandy mangina said...

I agree, all of our jobs suck, plus I need my job for my mortgage. Despite that, I just don't give a fuck who sees me looking at tits at work.

Amen tahoesanta