The Football Hangover

1.
Honestly is there a worse feeling than leaving a bunch of points on your fantasy bench? I picked up Chris Brown this week and started him over Ja Lew and sat in horror / depression / actual physical pain and watched Ja Lew rip off his best day in four years while Chris Brown crapped in his hand and rubbed it on his face for 60 minutes. Is there a real-life equivalent that can compare with this?

2.
The Saints are a mess and Sean Payton is the early leader for the “crappiest coaching job of the year” award. The shit show in NO is a perfect example of a head coach thinking way too much in the off season, drawing up way too many crazy plays and forgetting what made everything tick last season. The engine that drives that offense is not Brees, Bush or Colston, it’s Duece. Last year they used the power running game to set up the screen, or halfback swing or play action bomb, this year they’re skipping the Duece part and just trying to go straight for the homerun. Duece is averaging 4.5 yards a carry this year, but has only averaged 10 carries a game. That’s just dumb. They need to use Bush as a decoy to start games and pound the ball straight ahead with Duece, sustain a few long drives and open up the playbook from there. I’m not giving up on the Saints yet, but Payton needs to wake the fuck up.

3.
The prediction I made in my AFC preview about the Pats has already been proven true, just in a much different way than anyone could have guessed. I wrote:
“Something about the Pats feels a little wrong this season. I don’t know why, but all of the money they spent and talent they acquired just feels a little too much like the Yankees this decade. Remember how those great Yankee teams always had a few unsung heroes and once they really opened up the checkbook things started to fall apart? Something about this Pats team is reminiscent of that. Plus, and I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like Belichick is getting bored. I still think they’re one of the top 3 teams in the league, but I don’t think they make the Super Bowl.”
I was right in that something felt a little off about this team, I just didn’t predict what the “wrong” would be. After two weeks of the season, it’s painfully obvious that the Pats are the best team in the league by a wide, wide margin. They have more talent than anyone, better coaches and schemes than anyone, and a crappier division than anyone (which helps A LOT). But the spying scandal is going to haunt them this year. Football is luck, you need bounces, you need your key guys to stay healthy and you need the other team to fuck up in crucial moments. During the Pats’ Super Bowl years everything, and I mean everything, went their way. They fucked with the Football Gods this year and I think it comes back to get them in the playoffs.

4.
I told you to keep your eyes on four teams this year: Denver, Pitt, The Pack and the Cowboys. The combined record of the four: 8-0. You’re welcome.

5.
I told you to keep away from four teams this year: The Giants, Vikings, Jags and Chiefs. The combined record of the four: 2-6. You’re welcome.

6.
Sean Alexander Watch:
The Bet: 1500 yards and 15 tds
Season So Far: 175 yards and 2 tds
Projection: 1400 yards and 16 tds