Today Magglio Ordonez of the Detroit Tigers announced his
retirement. My brother sent me the link and asked if I too should announce my retirement
from A&M. What a terrible thought. But totally valid based on our lack of
posting. What the hell happened to us? Life happened I guess. We both had kids.
We both got deeper into our careers. Ultimately we’ve had less time to dedicate
to just shooting the shit.
What a depressing thought.
Jericho and I still talk every day. I guess we sorta use our
Facebook status updates as one off A&M’s. Again, what a depressing thought.
Just wasting our witticisms on fat relatives, former neighbors and that one
chick that gave us a hummer in college and now has 4 kids. Yikes.
Well, I’m announcing today that we’re NOT retiring. We’re
still living the dream. The dream that one day we’ll be asked to write full
time. To quit our jobs and do this for a living. The dream that Bill Simmons
will ask us to join Grantland and we’ll show up to their lavish offices and be
asked to join the brainstorms and when it gets to us we’ll talk about fisting
or peeing on bitches and then immediately be shown the door. Yes. That’s the
dream.
Hey, Jericho, let’s get on it buddy. We got a room full of
pretentious writers to offend.
III